Wow! This is surely the Daddy of all Self Help Books. Written in 1936 its message is as relevant and crystal clear today as it’s always been. If you rub someone up the wrong way, it is extremely unlikely that they will do anything to help you. Get on their right side, by understanding what drives them and what they like to do, and they’ll more than likely assist you in anyway that they can.
In essence what Carnegie teaches is that, when you are trying to influence someone, you should subordinate your personal interests to those of that person. I made this mistake once, when a customer of mine was talking about his favourite football team – one that I happen to dislike. Instead of keeping my big gob shut, I had to wade in saying that his team was a bunch of ne’er-do-wells and vagabonds. Result, I nearly lost my customer.
Ladies and Gentleman, I give you How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
This is a great book. The acronym stands for Shut Up, Move On. Say it to yourself (or to someone else) when you’re thinking, and therefore behaving in a way that is likely to hinder our ability to succeed. The first part is the Shut Up bit. Now it doesn’t necessarily mean ‘belt up and get a grip’ – you are allowed some time to wallow – it’s more of an opportunity to re-evaluate your postion, and then Move On.
This second element is the one that requires you to do something, i.e. it’s the action bit. Without action, you can re-evaluate to your heart’s content, but if you don’t change then why bother with all the re-evaluation? Actually, this is a very good point about this book, or any other self-help book for that matter. I used to think that just by buying a particular tome that all of my problems (whether real or perceived) would be solved, just like magic! Of course I was wrong – action is required.
Anyway, Paul goes on to describe how you can take control of your life and therefore fulfil your full potential. Perhaps the best chapter is the last one, with the rather quirky title – Ditch Doris Day. It’s not meant as a direct reference to Doris, more to her most famous song, Que Sera, Sera. Paul’s point being that life should be what you make it, not the chance outcome of a series of coincidences. He’s obviously more of a Talk Talk man it seems.
Photo credit, Natanahelio